Agnostic Mom

Lesson learned over the last few weeks: Just because something is a good idea, doesn’t mean you should do it.

Boy, did I get in over my head this year. When I first joined the MOMS Club, I had decided I was done being an over-active, over-committed, at-home mom. I was now going to be the relaxed perfect mom I once was (LOL). I had previous leadership experience, but I was going to keep quiet about that and let people think I was clueless. I took two small positions. Ok, well, that lasted one year.

At election time last spring, I accepted the nomination for Administrative Vice President. I think that actually would have been just fine, but then something else came up. Our chapter had agreed to host the yearly statewide fall Luncheon, for 300 women. The mom who was going to chair it became our chapter president and resigned from the luncheon chair position. When no one else stepped up, I began to sense that the world would end if I didn’t take it on. Nevermind that my position is arguably more demanding than the president’s (at least it is if you do it my way; complicated, overly involved, and larger than life).

I told the club I would only become Luncheon chair if we would delay our fundraising until after the luncheon. Everybody agreed, raised their hands, and then the chaos began. The community Halloween Carnival was scheduled one week after the Luncheon, and we HAD to do it. We’ve done it every year. One week after that, for some reason I’m not aware of, we HAD to have our Open House. I wasn’t in charge of that one, but it would require man-power already being exhausted. And then, because I made the mistake of offering another good fundraising idea, which I intended to happen next year, the club almost unanimously insisted that we HAD to do it for the holidays, four days after the Open House.

I will hand it to the club that they did as I requested; they scheduled these events right AFTER the Luncheon. Nevermind that they all had to be in planning stages at the same time. Like I said before, just because something is a good idea, doesn’t mean you should do it.

So my poor family has been neglected over the past number of weeks. Two-year-old Aiden grew out of is only pair of shoes, and I didn’t have time to take him shopping. He grew to the point where he’d scream and scream the entire time I made him wear them. For two days he went everywhere (yes, somehow we’ve developed a life where we go EVERYWHERE) in slippers, because I could not find 30 minutes to go to the store.

About a week ago, I stepped down from my Administrative Vice President position. Thankfully, many in the club had been simultaneously learning Lesson #1, albeit not the the extent I had. My mom-friends were all very supportive, and agreed we had taken on too much, and I was bearing the weight of it.

Yesterday, at 3:34 p.m., I walked away from the Windemere Conference Center, got into my car, and called Israel. “It’s over! The Luncheon is done.” It was a huge success. I got a mariachi band there (it was a Mexican Fiesta theme). We added a number of other new features never done at a previous luncheon. We made thousands of dollars from the raffle. It was fun and I was so proud. But I definitely should not have done it.

At 4:00p.m., I came home to my neglected children. We played a modified “Red Light, Green Light” in the backyard. Then the kids had me name animals for them to act out. Next we advanced to Lego’s and built choo-choo trains. It was a calm and eery moment of slow no-obligation. My kids have their mom back.

I still love my MOMS Club. It was never intended as a full-time job with no pay. I will now be enjoying our fun activities as a contributing participant, not as a leader. And I hope we’re all ready too cool it on the big stuff. The club was meant to support moms, not drive us crazy!