Comments on: Scared Of The Dark

By: Kelley

Kelley — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 02:26:04 +0000

Being scared without reason is as much a part of childhood as being happy without reason. The way you handle it can set a child up for a strong foundation of handling other problems he or she encounters in their lives. Removing prayer from a child’s life - or worse yet - not introducing it for them to make their own choice at a later time - is setting them up for a lifetime of trying to fill a void in their hearts with your imaginary ‘bubbles’. This void is put there intentionally by a God that made us all and loves us all, you, your children, and the rest of the world included. That void is placed there for you to find Him and use His love to fill it. Only then, will your life be complete. I can’t imagine not giving my children an opportunity to know the Savior, my Christ, who gave his life for ours to be spared. How much more will hell hurt you if your realize that you were wrong and have raised your children to believe the same way you believe? If I’m wrong, so be it. My beliefs are based on foundations of morality, others first, obeying the commandments, and generally trying to do what I think Jesus would do. When I die, if my ‘religion’ that I’ve passed onto my children for their choice is in vain, at least I know that I’ve passed on the chance for them to make a positive difference in others’ lives. If I might make a suggestion, that peaceful feeling that you felt as a child was truly God’s arms wrapping around you and comforting you just as you are doing for your child. You ARE a child of God. I pray that you will come to terms with this and open your heart, accept Him, and begin serving Him before it’s too late. I will pray for you and your buddies that post on this site. If you have additional questions about what it means to be a true Christian, the website - http://www.billygraham.org/SH_HowToBecomeAChristian.asp - is a great resource. In His love, C. Kelley

By: Emmanuel

Emmanuel — Tue, 29 May 2007 10:27:06 +0000

i liked that but im trying to look for somthing that can help me not get scared from the devil and horra movies and staying home alone please send something that could help on my email up there

By: Bob

Bob — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 02:54:34 +0000

So all your hope when you die is a box and a black hole. Nice….

By: Noell

Noell — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 14:25:08 +0000

Thanks, Mary! I bet being Catholic brought it a little closer to home because you identified more with the entire story. But I think the movie could still terrify any person with a belief in spiritual possession and the presence of evil spirits.

I never saw that movie because I had a horrible fear of evil spirits since I first learned about possession as a kid. Mormons believe that humans are outnumbered by evil spirits in an unthinkable amount. They believe that the number of evil spirits present on earth is equal to one third of the total number of humans that ever have and ever will live on the earth.

They taught us that these spirits especially seek out the “righteous” (of course, that was me), so good Mormons had an unusually high number of spirits surrounding them. Even into my adulthood this belief haunted me because as a missionary they told us that we were their biggest target. I thought that if they couldn’t tempt me to sin, they would taunt me and make me think I was going crazy by my being aware of their presence.

It is embaressing to reveal this about myself, but it highlights the danger of religion. Once I stopped believing in religion, I stopped believing there were evil spirits following me, and I have been “sane” and free of that type of fear ever since.

By: Mary

Mary — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 06:44:03 +0000

Interesting post! When I was young I saw The Exorcist. I was about the same age as the little girl in the movie and for months after that I had to recite the Lord’s Prayer ad infinitum until I fell asleep. I was petrified of being posessed by the devil.

I wonder if my fear would have been so strong if I hadn’t been raised Catholic? Or if I hadn’t been raised Catholic, how would I have pacified myself in order to go to sleep? At that age, I was too big to sleep with my grandma…

Noell, sometimes you bring up topics that I would never think about! They’re great!

By: Noell

Noell — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 21:57:06 +0000

Hey, Sadie! I think the non-religious camp is split on this issue. Do we tell our kids there is a Santa but no Jesus? Do we tell our kids that there are magical bubbles but no angels?

It is a subject we’ll continue to discuss, especially as the Easter Bunny approaches next month. I don’t claim to have the “right” answer. I don’t actually think there is a right answer, although I think the personality of the child has something to do with it. I’ll save that topic for a future Easter post, though.

It is my opinion that there is a clear difference between using a pretend “magical bubble” and teaching a child to pray to a non-existent god. The difference is that only children believe in the Bubble Fantasy. There are no sane adults in our culture who preach the Bubble’s truthfulness. Magic bubbles also don’t manipulate you to behave certain ways in order to avoid punishment.

On the other hand, most everyone around us is sure there is a god. And the beliefs about that god DO manipulate.

I am 100% positive that my children will grow out of their belief in the reality of my bubbles. The god question is still up in the air.

I like the idea of thinking about happy thoughts, though. I have done that with the kids also. I usually tell them to think about being with Nana (Sadie’s mom).

By: Sadie

Sadie — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 21:06:10 +0000

Although I am against using prayer/ “Magical God” as a solution, I don’t quite see what the difference is between telling a child that and that there is a “Magical protective bubble”..either way it is fictional and if they can discern one they should be able to discern the other especially with how impressionable they are at that age. Just my thought. I wouldn’t know.

Everytime I got scared my mom taught me to sing a happy song and think of all the happy things in life. It worked wonderfully. It distracted me from my fear and eased me back to sleep with a smile.

By: Noell

Noell — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 04:47:53 +0000

Gregg–Aiden’s a mama’s boy. If Israel tried to put him to bed with me home, he wouldn’t have it. That boy can scream.

But as far as I know, when I am not home, he seems to go to bed fine. I’ve never had a complaint from a babysitter, but I have also never asked directly. Israel says he has no problem putting Aiden to bed alone when I am gone.

Really, it’s all about him wanting me when he knows he can have me. He’s my last and I’ve definitely spoiled him that way. Most times I lay down with him because I want to. So he’s used to that. The “scared-of-the-dark” bit is a little new, though.

By: Gregg100

Gregg100 — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 04:08:28 +0000

Just out of curiosity, what happens when Dad puts him to bed?

By: Nacho

Nacho — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 03:33:40 +0000

Oh, neat story indeed Mom. Our experience is different here. We’ve done a semi-attached parenting routine, and I attribute that my son (6 now) has not ever complained of nightmares (or night terrors I guess is the term now) to the fact that first he slep with us (two beds side by side), later one of us with him in his own bed, and now we just stay with him until he falls asleep. We’ve always provided all sorts of guided reassuring meditations/visualizations as part of the nightime routine. I think our presence has been central in his confidence, but we’ve also worried about him feeling independent and being able to do this on his own — so we also started quite a ways back to let go, to pull back, and allow him gently to feel more confident. He does say he is afraid of the dark, and I just reassure him by saying that most humans are, and we talk about how there is nothing to be afraid of in the room and the house… now we need to just let him go to sleep on his own completely, by us not guiding him as much. I want him to be able to do those things on his own!

A friend of mine placed a flashlight by his son’s bed so that when he woke up with a night terror he could light up the flashlight as a “light saber.” : )

Thanks for this story. : )

By: Forrest Prince

Forrest Prince — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 20:07:35 +0000

Without question, it’s the parent’s calming influence that provides the effect, and difficult as it may be for you to handle just now, it’s your presence that’s making the difference.

Infant phobias can be short lived or extended, and no child’s experience is the same as another’s. Patience is your power.

Kudos for not resorting to lying to Aiden and proposing imaginary gods to protect against imaginary monsters. The truth is always your best bet.

Enjoying your column very much in Humanist Network News. Keep it up.

Live for today, work for peace,

Forrest R. Prince (Humanist Celebrant)

By: Cassandra

Cassandra — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 12:47:00 +0000

Awww… Poor kid! I think that we’ve had that a couple of nights here, but I’m not quite sure. We have been told a few times that there was a bird in the bedroom. That was strange…
I think you did a good job. Sometimes mommy right next to them for a couple of minutes is all they need.

By: fran

fran — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 20:17:10 +0000

Big brother may be agitating a little

By: Terry S

Terry S — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 05:10:17 +0000

Your arms are real. They have warmth. They have strength. They serve as a palpable assurance that no “imaginary” bubble or gods can provide. My wife and I used to come up with all manner of goofy inventions in an effort to quiet or reassure our boys when they were agitated or frightened. Early in the game, some of them, I suppose, worked. But kids catch on quick. Generally, just as in your experience, the only thing that works, and continues to work is being there, talking, story telling, singing and holding. At times I felt that what they REALLY wanted was simply our undivided attention. What you have to do is give it.

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