But I’m not totally surprised. Plural Marriage is a doctrine that most Mormoms are not happy about. There is an unwritten rule that you don’t talk about it with non-Mormons or new members. The Church doesn’t like to associate itself with the subject.

Did my sister give me that husband advice because I had a list of pre-requisites for my future-husband? I don’t remember it, but I can see it!!!!

I remember you telling me your sister once said, “Noell, finding a husband isn’t like shopping for a dress!” Do you remember that?

hifi, I think it’s rather impudent of you to assert Noell’s prudishness. Maybe that’s why you put a q mark. I often refer to myself as a prude because I think it’s really nobody’s business what else I might be. The questions you (hifi) ask about serial monogamy are interesting, too. Maybe some of those monogamists didn’t mean to end up so serial.

As for starting a new religion.. isn’t that what families are for! sigh…

I am aware of the term, “serial monogomy.” I regard adultery as worse than polgamy. I am not that concerned about consenting adults practicing polygamy.

I, personally, have no interest in sharing. And while serial monogamy compares with polygamy, including the difficulties of the current partner being compared with past partners, it does not produce the same level of difficulty with having to split time and affection.

I like having that one person who I share everything with.

With the Western acceptance of divorce, and recently dating (with sex) and trial living together before marriage, the term for America’s primary mode of relations between the sexes is what anthropolgists term “serial monogamy” - a politically euphemized form of polygamy.

Here’s one definition: “The most common style of relating in the US today. Partners can be married or unmarried, but there are never more than one at a time. Serial monogamy could also be seen as serial, but not monogamous. It is a form of polygamy wherein the multiple spouses are had “in series”

For anyone who is scandalized by Big Love, does it make us that much difference if all those lovers and wives were distributed over time? Which way is more ethical? More efficient? More loving?

We, in America, have undergone incredible social progress - admittedly in fits and starts - in this country that is continuing.

I don’t really have any opinion on polygamy, but I certainly wouldn’t have the energy or patience for a relationship that involved more than one other person. I find the idea fascinating however. Big Love seems believable; I hope it doesn’t turn weird as time goes on.

Regarding the many cases of successful polygamy, I can see at least three factors at work. As I indicated before, there is the question of the impact on biodiversity if polygamy became the norm on the planet. The second factor is the issue of proliferation. It may be that polygamy is essential in some cases for maintaining adequate numbers of some species or cultures or tribes. The third factor is the “survival of the fittest” in which the dominant male does what he can to guarantee the continuation of his genes.

As the Earth reaches saturation in the ability to support 9 plus billion humans around 2050, I doubt that proliferation is a benefit and we are already seeing the more advance countries limiting the birth rate so that we may see a leveling off of the population growth rate. It is well known that there are some (small) populations on Earth that are immune to the HIV virus. If such a pandemic were to really proliferate, that is one case where biodiversity may be an advantage. Finally, I recognize that there are minority societies that practice polygamy. I personally am not aware of the “objective” advantage of this practice but that doesn’t mean there isn’t one.

I’ll iterate my point. I would like to see a solid scientific or at least a well developed, logical, secular, philosophical basis for making such ethical/moral decisions on any human action, polygamy just being one of them.

Yes, I have retained my Mormon lingo.

However, polygamy was the most scandalous but hardly the most revolutionary of Mormonism’s borrowed ideas. “The United Order was an egalitarian community designed to achieve income equality, eliminate poverty, increase group self-sufficiency, and create an ideal utopian society Mormons referred to as Zion.” (Wikipedia)

The economic system was pure centralized communism formed much according to the communist slogan of “From each according to their means, to each according to their needs”. But Marx wrote his Communist Manifesto in 1848 - long after the Mormons were well into their experiment.

It is not widely appreciated that the first quarter century of the 1800s in America was a time of newfound optimism and adventure that found experiments in socialism in the air. It was the period of the enlightenment; repressive governments had been brought down; science and its inventions were blossoming; the western territories were opening as a blank canvas for social experimentation. People had a feeling that they could control their own destinies. Religious communes and artist colonies sprang up everywhere.

Mormons were hardly the most progressive, socially, either. In Oneida, the religious leader, John Humphrey Noyes, started a community which put into practice theories he had been developing for years under the doctrine of perfectionism. Chief among these was the concept of complex marriage: the idea that every man in the group is married to every woman in the group (they were admonished not to fall in love), and vice versa. In other words, regulated free love. Included were other practices such as male continence (satisfaction of the female was the goal of sex), mutual criticism, and selective breeding. Besides males having the responsibility for contraception, women worked side-by-side with men in the fields, wearing pants under their skirts. Everyone was read to as they worked to improve their education. Healthy eating was required.

In the 60s, there was a much smaller and briefer cooperative/alternative commune/communities movement. Still, it was at the end of a period of 200 years when America led the world in social progress. It is remarkable that this spirit of progress seems all but forgotten in the America of the 21st century. Whatever happened to us?

Hey, anyone want to start a religion?

Clearly, one of the “good” things for survival of the species is biodiversity as a measure of protection against some for of pathology or pandemic. I am no expert on polygamy and incest but my intuitive reaction is that both would contribute to a reduction in biodiversity. If my philosophy were well developed, I would be in a position to claim that both are amoral from that perspective and while others would claim “no problem with polygamy” I would hopefully have a logical and scientific basis for rejection of such a practice. The same might apply to incest if it really does increase the probability of defective offspring or at least a reduction in biodiversity.

The concept of marriage between homosexual couples is strictly a legal issue relating to benefits and tax advantages in my opinion. The data I have read indicates that homosexuality is genetic in origin.

The problem is when it is part of a religious mandate. Some men were and are commanded by the prophet to take additional wives, even when they don’t want to. Another problem that exists in the commune I mentioned earlier is that young teenage boys are viewed as competition to the old men, so many of them are dropped off and abandoned somewhere at the ages of 14 and 15. In Arizona we call them Lost Boys. The state or a non-profit group (I can’t remember which) takes care of them, but they are very confused. They are scared of “the world”, meaning us, who they were taught are evil. They are without their religion, which they believe is the only true religion, the only way to salvation. Yet, they can’t go home. It’s very disturbing.

Maybe the difference involved is whether polygamists are part of a closed commune where there is competition, and whether it is religiously mandated where the partners feel compelled, either because a prophet told them to, or because they think God wants them to.

I recently read a news story that stated it is becoming apparent they are having a crisis with their children having mental retardation and other challenges because of it. It’s very sad.