To Easter Bunny or Not To Easter Bunny?
The following article was written for the Humanist News Network. Meant for publishing this week, it is being postponed until next week because of a fundraising campaign. I wanted to make sure AgnosticMom readers get to read it before the Easter holiday.
The last thing I expected when I got married was to face the possibility of giving up Santa and the Easter Bunny. Deny my future children the magic of believing in those imaginary characters? Staying up late into the night, hoping to catch a glimpse of what no child has seen before. Knowing that the most popular person in the world thinks of you every year. The truth is, I knew they weren’t real for one or two years before I finally admitted it to myself. I made the joy last as long as I could.
My husband’s siblings, though, did not grow up “being lied to,” as they put it. My mother-in-law insists that learning about Santa devastated her as a child. She felt her mother betrayed her trust and lied to her. While some of the family members are still staunch against the tradition, a few of the others agreed to go along with their spouses, including my own husband.
With Easter only days away, I thought this a good time to discuss the topic. One question that enters the minds of some young atheist and agnostic parents is whether or not to have Santa and the Easter Bunny, if you decide to celebrate those holidays at all. How do we justify giving our children the fantasy of an Easter Bunny while denying them the security of a Jesus?
I love Santa and the Easter Bunny. I cannot imagine my childhood without those wonderful nights of exhilarating anticipation. They brought a joy that only Disneyland could match. Discovering they were not real did no damage to my psyche. It was more like discovering the secret to a great magic trick.
Having considered my mother-in-law’s experience, I set up a number of guidelines regarding the fantasy characters that grace our holidays. Hopefully, the use of these guidelines will not only prevent the rare devastation that a handful of children feel. They will demonstrate the difference between imagination and reality; between our perceptions and the facts, between the stories humans tell and the actual truths they represent.
First, parents need to take into consideration the child’s character. For example, my mother-in-law has an inner drive to get her facts accurate. In her mind, you don’t move forward on something without first verifying each detail. Most children are not this way, which is why most children walk away from their Santa beliefs with a smile and a tradition to pass on to their children. If you, yourself, are more like my mother-in-law, then you can guess that some of your children are likely to be the same way, as well. If this is the case with you, then you may consider banning Santa and the Easter Bunny altogether. But I think revealing the truth at a younger-than-average-age is also an option.
Age, in general, is another factor to consider. For most children, somewhere between six and eight is a good time. Part of the devastation, when it happens, is because the child has been defending Santa’s existence to friends. It is socially humiliating for an older child to learn they have been asserting something that everyone else knew was wrong. A good way to know it is time to reveal the secret is when the child asks you directly, “Is Santa real?”
So how do we make the Santa/Bunny scenario work to our advantage as atheists and agnostics? I figured it out as I was trying to avoid my mother-in-law’s mishap of my children perceiving us as lying. I made a decision at the beginning that I would not tell elaborate stories of how Santa gets his belly down the chimney or how the bunny gets those baskets into the house.
When my oldest son, Blake, starting asking these questions, I replied with my most common of all replies, “What do you think?” I encouraged Blake to think the problems through. The Santa/Bunny scenario provides an opportunity for both critical thinking and imaginary play. At the younger ages, imagination really goes to work. As they get older, they adopt critical thinking. As skepticism creeps into the questions, you know revelation time is near.
I prefer to wait until the child asks straight out, “Is Santa really real?” With many children, like myself and my first child, the desire to believe hangs on longer than the actual belief. We should allow them to believe for as long as they want. But when they want the truth, parents must give it.
And how do we handle the truth? We could say, “No, Santa and the Easter Bunny aren’t real.” But I don’t think that answer demonstrates the reality, nor the reason for the stories. As Joseph Campbell taught, humans have always couched real principles into stories we tell over and over and pass on through generations. Santa and the Easter Bunny are stories of life, love, and the joy of giving. Parents are Santa to kids in ways they won’t understand until they become parents themselves. Like the Easter Bunny, parents bring life and hope to their children.
So when it comes time to answer the golden question, a more meaningful reply is, “Do you know who Santa is? Mom and Dad are Santa and the Easter Bunny.”
Parents can use this revealing of truth to explain how humans are a story-telling people. We have always told stories to express ideas. Some stories generate more belief and conviction than others. The Bible is a compilation of stories which many people have come to believe as literally true. Santa is a good analogy of how people want to believe in the stories of gods. Most stories have an amount of truth within them, as well as an amount of embellishment.
I finally told my oldest child the truth before Christmas last year as he was turning eight years old. When the day ended, I asked Blake if Christmas felt different now that he knows Mom and Dad are Santa. He told me that maybe it did a little. But that somehow, seeing the unwrapped Santa gifts, and going along with the game for the younger siblings, the magic still felt real.
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April 13th, 2006 @ 9:45 am
“How do we justify giving our children the fantasy of an Easter Bunny while denying them the security of a Jesus?”
It’s funny you said this because I was just thinking about this the other day when my son and I were talking about heaven. I started wondering if it is mean of me to deny him the comfort that comes with a belief in heaven. After discussing this with my husband, we came to the conclusion that this is different than Santa & the Easter Bunny because of the fact that so many people still believe the myth of a heaven. If we told him there was a heaven, it would be very difficult for him to discover the truth because so many adults still believe in heaven. There would be too many outside influences trying to convince him that there really is a heaven. It is easier to discover the truth about Santa and the Easter Bunny because adults do not believe this anymore. I think the same thing applies to Jesus.
I really enjoyed the article. I love asking our kids “what do you think?” when they ask us questions…..it’s fun to see their brains at work
I have thought about what I might do when they discover the truth about Santa and EB. My plan is to congratulate them for discovering the truth and tell them it is a big step towards growing up. I hope that by shedding a positive light on it we will prevent any problems. Thanks for giving us a preview!
April 13th, 2006 @ 12:37 pm
“We celebrate Spring Break each year to remember the time when Jesus died for our sins and on the third day he rose from the dead and turned into a rabbit. ”
I heard that joke from a Catholic comedian and couldn’t stop lauging. I’m trying to remember the last time I believed in Santa or the Easter Bunny. I just don’t remember my parents emphasizing either of them much. I just knew that in December I get gifts and in April I go egg-hunting. I knew Santa and the Rabbit were major players during those months but the important and fun part for me was opening gifts and looking for eggs. I think the worst thing a parent could do is to tell their kids Santa and the Rabbit are real and then tell them afterwards when they get older that they lied. I agree with just waiting for them to ask you first and then telling the truth but what if they don’t? I’ve never met anyone who admitted they believed in Santa or the Rabbit well into their late teens/early adult years but I’ve heard they’re out there though. I’m not saying I’m a better person than them but I wonder what caused them to believe in a lie for so long without asking anyone for the truth.
April 13th, 2006 @ 2:21 pm
Hey watch it !!!! Santa’s real and I can prove it . So back off pal…………….
April 13th, 2006 @ 2:41 pm
I think Noell and Stephanie have described good approaches to these questions. When I personally let go of these childhood stories, I think I just noticed clues and figured it out, then they knew I knew, and so on… so it was painless, no scarring.
“I’ve never met anyone who admitted they believed in Santa or the Rabbit well into their late teens/early adult years but I’ve heard they’re out there though.” – Rodolfo
Some other examples of this type of thing were the subject of this episode, A little bit of knowledge, of This American Life. “I couldn’t believe I’d gotten this far without stopping to think it through.”
btw, this episode might be of interest to readers of this blog. The part on public policy is related to recent discussions here, and Julia Sweeney’s part, aside from being a nice essay, was the first time I’d ever heard anything about Mormon theology.
April 13th, 2006 @ 3:34 pm
I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to refuse. Seriously I’d like to know why you think Santa is real.
April 13th, 2006 @ 7:25 pm
wow, that was THE BEST BLOG POST EVER!!!
April 13th, 2006 @ 7:26 pm
Yeah and by the way? what is the deal with the Easter Bunny? Anyone?
April 13th, 2006 @ 9:33 pm
This is a wonderfully written and well thought out post, Noell. Even though I grew up Catholic, I don’t ever remember learning about the meaning behind Easter. I’m sure I did in Catholicism class, but it never stuck. What I do remember is the traditions: a new outfit, egg decorating and hunting, baskets filled with goodies, a big dinner with family.
These are the things I want to do with my family and I felt hypocritical for wanting to do them as if I couldn’t get the goodies if I didn’t want to buy into the religious meaning of the holiday.
Thanks for the reminder that it’s okay to continue with a tradition even if there’s no religious implication. As far as the Easter Bunny, I don’t remember ever believing in EB like I remember believing in Santa. I guess the basket thing wasn’t as dramatic as a bunch of presents under a tree. I’m not sure I’ll tell my kids the baskets were left by the Easter Bunny. I’ll probably just say nothing and they won’t ask. There still too young to know anything other than candy is coming their way!
April 14th, 2006 @ 6:40 pm
Pretending with kids is a wonderful activity. It’s made richer by involvement of the entire community (egg-hunts, decorating kits, baskets and goodies). In my experience, fantasy is even important to the development of a scientific and skeptical mind: knowing how important the answer can be to “What if…”
On the other hand, if the mind is not allowed to mature along the lines of what is real and what is not, you can very easily produce grown adults who will believe anything, without question, especially when delivered by authority. Not just religious myth either, but I think it’s pretty obvious now that includes political fabrications as well. (In Richard Feynman’s speech linked in another topic, one definition he gave to science is, “Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts.”
My 7 year old, with a very logical mind, just asked me if the Easter Bunny is real. I differ with the opinions expressed here so far. Having enjoyed this pretense immensely in my own youth, my approach is not to dash the fantasy while nuturing the thought process. I said,”Hmmm… who do you think hides although eggs and presents in the yard and everybody else’s yards? How could a bunny do that?” “So what do you think, is the Easter Bunny real?” Obviously, this line is begging the question that he is real. But I also know her question was put to me, not as a way to confirm the truth that she is being tricked, but as a test of and request for input into the unspoken reasoning she has been doing on the subject. It also implied a doubt in wisdom of experts, which I did not contradict, outright.
Anyway, my daughter’s response to my last question was, “Yeah, I think so.” She’s good for another year.
April 14th, 2006 @ 8:15 pm
Hifi–I actually did the exact same thing with Blake. I have a maximum word count on my articles, which I always exceed by 200-300 words. I can’t always go into every detail, and I was conflicted over whether to get that specific. In the end, I decided I couldn’t afford to explain that particular.
But the first couple times Blake asked me that question, I knew it wasn’t time yet. He wasn’t asking to get to the bottom of the truth. And I also wanted to see if he could figure the answer out himself. I had the same answer and result you did.
The last time Blake asked, I already knew he was aware of the reality of the situation.
I’m glad you specified this since I didn’t feel I had time. I hoped parents would use their own judgement in knowing what the child was really looking for, and when they were actually asking to get the truth out of you.
April 15th, 2006 @ 4:28 am
NORMAL AGNOSTIC KIDS!!!! BAH HUMBUG!!!!!!!
April 15th, 2006 @ 11:21 am
This is an excellent post, Noel. I remember when I started doubting the Santa story when I was younger. In South Africa, most homes don’t have chimneys, so there was always the question of “Mom, how does Santa get into the house?” The answer I got was that he squeezed through the burglar bars. With his kind of girth!!!
April 15th, 2006 @ 11:46 am
I’M A JOKSTER SOMETIMES RADOLPHO
April 15th, 2006 @ 11:37 pm
I still don’t see that telling kids that the Easter Bunny is real is in any way more magical and/or fun than telling them that the Easter Bunny is a fun game of pretend that we like to play at Easter.
I hate to be the evil Scrooge here, but I hear these arguments every year, and to me making up stories about magic is fun, but I don’t see anything amusing in thinking magic is real.
That said, I’m prepared to acknowledge that there are perhaps aspects of the young child’s development that I’m not taking into account. For example, there was a focus group activity on this site involving telling a magical story to kids and asking questions about it. I was kind of suprised by the exercise when I found that my four-year-old claimed that it was possible for one of his toys to transform into another. So really I’m not sure exactly what he believes.
For myself, I remember lots of things from my childhood vividly, but I don’t have any recollection of ever having thought that Santa or the Easter Bunny were real. I think my parents said they were, but there’s a high probability that my mom hinted that they were just stories. As a devout Mormon, my mom liked to make a strong distinction between supernatural claims that were real (like the predictive power of patriarichal blessings) and supernatural claims that lots of people believe but which are obviously absurd nonsense (like the predictive power of horoscopes).
After all, at least Santa and the Easter Bunny are good object lessons to illustrate the fact that sometimes there are fairy tales that people actually believe are real, and if you think about it just a little bit, you might start wondering the same things about the other characters associated with these holidays….
April 16th, 2006 @ 5:14 am
ARE ANGELS REAL???? ARE GODS REAL???? ARE THERE REALLY GHOSTS ?????? DO YOU HAVE A GUARDIAN ANGEL ?????? ARE THERE SPIRITS FLOATING AROUND ??? HAS ANYONE YOU’VE KNOWN RISE FROM THE DEAD????? CAN WE WALK ON WATER ????? DO BURNING BUSHES HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU ????? WHY DOESNT ANY OF THIS STUFF HAPPEN NOW ?????? WHY ARE ONLY CERTAIN PHILOSOPHIES INCLUDED IN YOUR BIBLE ??? DO DEMONS EXIST ??? IS THERE A DEVIL ???? DO YOU HEAR VOICES ??? ARE THEY SAYING BAD THINGS???? ARE YOU PARANOID ???? DO YOU HAVE DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR ??? HAVE YOU BEEN DETACHED FROM REALITY ?????? DO YOU SCRAMBLE YOUR WORDS ???
April 16th, 2006 @ 5:16 am
A DAY IN THE LIFE ………………..GOOD DAY EVERYONE
April 17th, 2006 @ 4:02 am
I remember my mom always ssaying she didn’t want to have us believe in the Easter Bunny and Father Christmas because she was afraid that when we realised they weren’t real we might think Jesus wasn’t real either (yes, I’m writing from a Christian background where both my mom and I do believe Jesus to be real!) but I have the feeling that as children grow up, they know the difference between pretend and real. I think everyone understands that there is a significant difference between praying to a God who exists in a religious system (whether you believe in him or not) and believing you can jump off a building and fly like superman. Perhaps the line is thin, but still, it’s there…!
April 17th, 2006 @ 7:43 am
I think that its important to distinguish between a fiction and lies.
Say you are walking in the woods with your child and walk off of the trail to look at something. Once you get to the interesting log (or whatever), you and your child realize how hard it is to see the trail from where you are standing.
Enter the lesson: Remember how Little Red Riding Hood was warned to stay on the path? Imagine being all alone and you walk off the path and you are so surprised that you can’t see it again, that you are frightened and can’t think clearly enough to find your way back to the path! Now, maybe there are no real wolves out here – but getting lost as the sun goes down is just as scary isn’t it? If you want to walk off the path – in any way in your life, by doing things differently than others – its important to anticipate unusual circumstances and know how you will handle them if they arise. Until you are able to do that – it might be a better idea to stay on the path.
Little Red Riding Hood doesn’t have to be real to teach something to your child.
This applies to all fiction, especially the fiction tailored to children (which is the same as for adults – just with different nouns). Santa – the Easter Bunny – the Tooth Faerie, and other faeries and characters… they all illustrate important things.
As for magic. Should we allow our kids to believe in magic?
Magic is perception (playing with one’s own perception is imagination – Einstein said imagination was more important than knowledge) – - Magic is that tickle you had in your mind when you enjoyed playing along with the Santa game after you strongly suspected that it was not a literal truth. Its a metaphorical truth.
In this sense – Santa is far more real than you or I. Your kids will get it when they are ready to – some with a little more help from parents and friends than others.
The same applies to religious figures – - so if a proported representative of Santa Claus starts encouraging me to give a percentage of my income to support an engine of intolerance and conversion, with a blatant effort to prevent my being able to distinguish between metaphorical and literal truths, I will stop believing in him.
I’ve never quite understood why Christians don’t get that about their own faith – - Jesus is recorded to have taught mainly by using metaphors – yet Christians can’t conceive of their faith being symbolic rather than literal?
It only gets all the more bizarre when you realize that Christmas and Easter are pagan holidays – - Easter even retains the NAME of a lunar fertility goddess, and its date is determined astrologically! Somebody asked what the deal was with the Easter Bunny – Hares are symbols of fertility and rebirth, as are eggs – and they are the symbols of (a goddess of) spring. Celebrations included lots of food, sex and all the other standard forms of human joy. Christianity just said “lets make it about Jesus’ magical resurrection instead”.
Some Christians are trying to get the name changed to Resurrection Sunday, which I find honorable (but would it still be a date chosen by the moon?). Maybe this effort is to prevent the public’s inevitable realization that they’ve been fueling ancient festivities completely unrelated to christianity? The change in name alone will draw attention to that, though. I think they may have set for themselves a catch 22.
The truth will out. Earth Day is a modern secular embracing of the joy of spring as a time of natural rebirth. Working to clean, repair and appreciate the natural world we rely on is far more constructive than a zombie Jesus, in my estimation.
April 17th, 2006 @ 12:20 pm
I believed in santa until I. . . I still know he is real because I don’t go out and buy presents for my children and I am devorced. Presents still are at our house in the morning and no one except santa comes. Same thing with the Easter Bunny. My doors are locked and no one has a key except me. I don’t go out and buy anything and there are still presents and eggs there in the morning. So what do you think?
April 17th, 2006 @ 2:01 pm
Alice in Wonderland:: Alice comes to the fork in the road and at its confluence there is a giant oak with a wise old owl on one of the larger branches . Alice strolls up to the giant Oak, looks up and says to the owl ” Mr. Owl ” she says, “Which way should I go?” The Owl , looking straight ahead says ” Well where are you headed ” to which alice replies , ” Well I don’t know! ” . The Owl snorts a bit then somewhat promptly replies , “Well, Then it doesn’t matter which way you go now does it ” We all need guidance in life , fantasy plays a huge role in development hopefully though by the time we reach adulthood we know how to deal with things in a rational, sane, sober manner. Those who don’t must continue to rely on ghostly fantasy to get them through. This has been an excellent blog….
April 17th, 2006 @ 2:08 pm
By the way, I am a child development specialist and I would recommend that everyone with small children find a copy of the aforementioned cartoon , frame it and put it where your children can see it. Lessons like these encourage emotional stabilization and suggests having a plan of action in everything we attempt . About once a month I’ll suggest more .
April 17th, 2006 @ 2:21 pm
Great post Noell. You really hit it on the noggin! I’m not as opposed to the idea of Santa/Easter Bunny as I used to be. Dave really wants to entertain them with it. I’ll probably, carefully, do something of the sort. =)
-Sadie
April 17th, 2006 @ 6:17 pm
Sadie Ann having a Santa?????? Wow, maybe there really is a god.
Ok, don’t freak out, people. That was a joke. Thanks, Sadie. I have been waiting to hear your reply to this post but wasn’t expecting the one you gave!
Fran–The lesson you summarized is very similar to Ron’s interpretation of Little Red Riding Hood. This is intriguing. I am confused, though. What exactly were you referring to when you said to frame a copy of the cartoon?
Angela–Your own personal Santa? And Easter Bunny? Hmmm . . .
April 17th, 2006 @ 6:45 pm
I believe that very same scene can be found in the adventures of Alice in Wonderland . Enlarged and framed
April 17th, 2006 @ 6:57 pm
Also may I mention that for those of you who have been following the ebay athiest blog hement attended the athiest convention in washington and there are some interesting story there that would apply to those of you who have kids. So jump over and have a gander
April 18th, 2006 @ 1:36 pm
Noell,
How did your mother-in-law feel when she found out that God wasn’t real? Her drive to get the facts straight about that must have really thrown her.
April 18th, 2006 @ 2:06 pm
HIFI!!!!! Are you asking me to throw my mother-in-law under the bus?
I hate speaking for other people, because I might say something they disagree with. Obviously she feels she has her facts straight regarding God, but it is just my guess that she sought her answer in a way prescribed by the Mormon church: if it feels good in your heart then it’s true.
Also, her choices early in life to stray from Mormonism led her to some horrible circumstances. When she was ready to straighten things out, she went back to church to do it. She was then able to get her life back in order. She has her own anecdotal evidence that with God and her religion, life is pretty good. Without God and her religion, it’s pretty darn bad.
That’s the thing many of my religious friends don’t understand. Having strayed from church standards themselves for a time and then come back, they equate leaving the church with sin. Of course, for them, that is why they left. They have no comprehension of someone leaving the church purely for doctrinal reasons. They don’t comprehend a person living a good, healthy, even moral life without religion. They think you will inevitably fall into sin.
Of course, my mother-in-law sees that we are a happy family, a happily married couple, raising happy children. She even acknowledges it. So I’m not sure how she computes it. I know that others have told me that while I may be happy at first, I will eventually find myself in misery and darkness.
Four years now in “darkness” has been pretty bright. Life gets better all the time.
April 19th, 2006 @ 1:01 pm
That non-religious darkness you mention is healing the relationship of a divorced couple I am friends with.
They had differences in their faiths – and separated because they both felt they had infallible blueprints to truth. Their blueprints didn’t match and this was intollerable to them.
After one of these friends found out that the leader of her church has been raping underaged girls for the last few years – she’s had a bit of a revelation about infallible leaders.
She left the church (several leaders of which participated in the cover-up) – and is ready to think for herself.
Her and her ex have started hitting it off again. They are taking it slow – but have found that without the church’s influence they are free to love one another.
April 19th, 2006 @ 1:33 pm
You know, Ron, Israel and I were of the same religion, both had been missionaries and then had jobs teaching missionaries. We both held leadership positions in our congregation, yet there was a strain on our relationship while we were religious because of differences concerning the same religion. Although a fully active practicing member, my husband struggled inside with some of the mystical aspects of religion. I was very much interested in it. We had barriers of communication and some tension because of this slight difference.
Once we were able to let go of religion, we were FINALLY able to be completely open and honest with each other! We got SO MUCH closer, having shed the burden of unrealistic and unnatural religious expectations. We were able to disagree with each other without feeling threatened by some eternal power. We were able to accept each other AS IS, accept each other’s choices, and completely love each other. It was pretty good way back when, but it is AWESOME now.
It disturbs me now to see so many religious couples that I know and witness the tension between them because one doesn’t live up to the others’ standards. I know women who are on their husbands’ cases because they want to watch a t.v. show on Sunday, the holy Sabbath day. I see women who lay down rules like that and men who walk around on tip toes trying not to get in trouble.
I agree with you, Ron, that that “darkness” is quite powerful for the good!
April 20th, 2006 @ 6:34 am
It’s a gutsy move , denouncing your religion . You are giving up friends you’ve had for years. Brainwashing has that effect on you. I always kept the tithing envelopes in the bottom door of my desk and for many months after coming to the conclusion there was no god I went to the envelopes on sunday morning only to realize I broke away from the supernaturalism and didn’t need to do that anymore . Since then I’ve used the money to teach young kids to read . I get so much more out of that especially when their skills improve ( I teach too.) It fills me emotionally like the church envelopes never did. Never regret moving forward !!ever
April 20th, 2006 @ 8:53 am
SO glad that I just found you here! I have been going through your archives and loving it!
I really like this E Bunny discussion. I have really struggled with this over the past couple of weeks. I have 16 month old twins… so we really didn’t have to have an Easter “performance” at our house.. but I am starting to think about how we should approach this topic.
My husband’s family isn’t quite shoving religion down our throat… but they do manage to serve it heartily at every meal.
Thank you for this conversation!
April 21st, 2006 @ 10:36 pm
I grew up Jehovah Witness and had no holidays — now that we are atheist I don’t see any reason for my kids to have the Easter Bunny or Santa. Or rather I don’t see any need to teach my children they are real. Actually, we don’t do Easter at all but for Christmas I’ve always told the boys that Santa is the way we describe all the nice things everyone does for each other at Christmas time. Santa is a nice story and everyone gets a chance to be Santa to someone. Then I help them do some Secret Santa stuff -they get to be Santa too. It helps us to focus on other people. They know the Santa gifts are from us — they play along (they are only 4 and 6.) That way they get to be involved in the activities but we don’t have to lie to them. We don’t do the Santa pictures or anything like that — we keep the whole thing pretty low-key.
April 22nd, 2006 @ 10:44 am
It’s a delicate balance . Some fantasy is necessary so they can reach a symmetry later in life . They will also need to be able to identify symbolically . Don’t deny them, but be sure to point out it’s just for fun when they come of age..
April 2nd, 2007 @ 11:58 am
My wife agrees with you, but I’m with your mother-in-law. I felt extremely betrayed and like I had been lied to when I found out. My wife insists that kids still need imagination and magic and innocence in their lives. When I rejoin with the idea that kids still have lots of imagination without Santa and the Easter Bunny, she brings up the issue of our child (we haven’t had any kids yet) feeling isolated from his peers, perhaps superior and elitist (she’s really afraid of that), having to play along with the game of Santa with his friends. I do agree with her that this is a potential problem. However, beyond that, I see no reason to tell kids untrue things. Personally, I don’t think adults give kids enough credit, and use such myths to assert their superiority and power over their children, on a subconscious level. Why not teach kids about human mythology right off the bat?
April 2nd, 2007 @ 3:07 pm
Nice article! Even if it got stumble-upon’d rather late… I notice it’s a year old or so. Whatever.
It’s amusing, though, to think about… I was never actually told, explicitly, that they didn’t. At a certain age, I started asking, and always got vague, noncommittal responses back. Then, one Christmas, we were on a skiing trip, and mom needed help carrying all the boxes of presents for my younger sister into the house… guess who got to help?
It made me happy, knowing that a mythological character I was pretty sure didn’t exist, but that everyone around me was always defending, actually didn’t.
June 24th, 2007 @ 7:57 pm
Your chapter in the PBB book made me come clean today to my son. I wrote about it on my blog (http://savemenot.wordpress.com/2007/06/25/no-more-sleigh-bells-for-my-son/), and linked to your article… (which I loved, by the way!)
~smh
September 24th, 2007 @ 1:32 am
My parents handled it excellently. They said, “What do you mean by real? Santa represents the spirit of Christmas, which is obviously very real and is part of every person. As a physical character, is he real? I don’t know.” This left me open to a larger belief in the magical nature of belief and hope in general, and helped me to understand that Santa not being real (by the time a kid asks “is santa real?” he sorta knows already) didn’t mean that I couldn’t still believe in larger beautiful meaningful ideas.
January 22nd, 2008 @ 11:14 pm
It is important to a child’s creative development to have an imagination and these “imaginary” characters cater to that development so it is important to children and as a parent not wanting to lie about it, simple, don’t. Santa Clause was in fact a real person, so you aren’t lying saying Santa is real because he did exist and there are men out there who dress up and play the role as Santa, some go so far as to make it a lifestyle, so in a sense Mr. Clause is still alive today. Same goes for the Easter Bunny and various other “fictional” characters, all based on truth. The Cadbury bunny is the “easter bunny” delievering choclate eggs (via commericals to your local stores) for your children and once again those men and women who wear the outfit to give children memories of “meeting” the easter bunny. What is real can not be so black and white, it’s all too grey and when we realize that, life becomes more complex and confusing but easier to be honest with our children without taking away their imagination
March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:04 pm
God is so real and i have tons of gardiun angels and god is one of them.I wanted to say I love you god.and they say that the easter bunny is real the easter bunnys not real just like santa claus he s not real either so dont beleive your parents when it comes around.thanks bye
Dakota
March 1st, 2010 @ 5:35 pm
[...] sort-of follow-up on my older article, To Easter Bunny Or Not To Easter Bunny… Aiden is proving to be our most skeptical child. And it’s not because he’s negative [...]