~smh

It’s amusing, though, to think about… I was never actually told, explicitly, that they didn’t. At a certain age, I started asking, and always got vague, noncommittal responses back. Then, one Christmas, we were on a skiing trip, and mom needed help carrying all the boxes of presents for my younger sister into the house… guess who got to help?

It made me happy, knowing that a mythological character I was pretty sure didn’t exist, but that everyone around me was always defending, actually didn’t.

I really like this E Bunny discussion. I have really struggled with this over the past couple of weeks. I have 16 month old twins… so we really didn’t have to have an Easter “performance” at our house.. but I am starting to think about how we should approach this topic.
My husband’s family isn’t quite shoving religion down our throat… but they do manage to serve it heartily at every meal.

Thank you for this conversation!

Once we were able to let go of religion, we were FINALLY able to be completely open and honest with each other! We got SO MUCH closer, having shed the burden of unrealistic and unnatural religious expectations. We were able to disagree with each other without feeling threatened by some eternal power. We were able to accept each other AS IS, accept each other’s choices, and completely love each other. It was pretty good way back when, but it is AWESOME now.

It disturbs me now to see so many religious couples that I know and witness the tension between them because one doesn’t live up to the others’ standards. I know women who are on their husbands’ cases because they want to watch a t.v. show on Sunday, the holy Sabbath day. I see women who lay down rules like that and men who walk around on tip toes trying not to get in trouble.

I agree with you, Ron, that that “darkness” is quite powerful for the good!

I hate speaking for other people, because I might say something they disagree with. Obviously she feels she has her facts straight regarding God, but it is just my guess that she sought her answer in a way prescribed by the Mormon church: if it feels good in your heart then it’s true.

Also, her choices early in life to stray from Mormonism led her to some horrible circumstances. When she was ready to straighten things out, she went back to church to do it. She was then able to get her life back in order. She has her own anecdotal evidence that with God and her religion, life is pretty good. Without God and her religion, it’s pretty darn bad.

That’s the thing many of my religious friends don’t understand. Having strayed from church standards themselves for a time and then come back, they equate leaving the church with sin. Of course, for them, that is why they left. They have no comprehension of someone leaving the church purely for doctrinal reasons. They don’t comprehend a person living a good, healthy, even moral life without religion. They think you will inevitably fall into sin.

Of course, my mother-in-law sees that we are a happy family, a happily married couple, raising happy children. She even acknowledges it. So I’m not sure how she computes it. I know that others have told me that while I may be happy at first, I will eventually find myself in misery and darkness.

Four years now in “darkness” has been pretty bright. Life gets better all the time.

Ok, don’t freak out, people. That was a joke. Thanks, Sadie. I have been waiting to hear your reply to this post but wasn’t expecting the one you gave!

Fran–The lesson you summarized is very similar to Ron’s interpretation of Little Red Riding Hood. This is intriguing. I am confused, though. What exactly were you referring to when you said to frame a copy of the cartoon?

Angela–Your own personal Santa? And Easter Bunny? Hmmm . . .

-Sadie

Say you are walking in the woods with your child and walk off of the trail to look at something. Once you get to the interesting log (or whatever), you and your child realize how hard it is to see the trail from where you are standing.

Enter the lesson: Remember how Little Red Riding Hood was warned to stay on the path? Imagine being all alone and you walk off the path and you are so surprised that you can’t see it again, that you are frightened and can’t think clearly enough to find your way back to the path! Now, maybe there are no real wolves out here – but getting lost as the sun goes down is just as scary isn’t it? If you want to walk off the path – in any way in your life, by doing things differently than others – its important to anticipate unusual circumstances and know how you will handle them if they arise. Until you are able to do that – it might be a better idea to stay on the path.

Little Red Riding Hood doesn’t have to be real to teach something to your child.

This applies to all fiction, especially the fiction tailored to children (which is the same as for adults – just with different nouns). Santa – the Easter Bunny – the Tooth Faerie, and other faeries and characters… they all illustrate important things.

As for magic. Should we allow our kids to believe in magic?
Magic is perception (playing with one’s own perception is imagination – Einstein said imagination was more important than knowledge) – - Magic is that tickle you had in your mind when you enjoyed playing along with the Santa game after you strongly suspected that it was not a literal truth. Its a metaphorical truth.
In this sense – Santa is far more real than you or I. Your kids will get it when they are ready to – some with a little more help from parents and friends than others.

The same applies to religious figures – - so if a proported representative of Santa Claus starts encouraging me to give a percentage of my income to support an engine of intolerance and conversion, with a blatant effort to prevent my being able to distinguish between metaphorical and literal truths, I will stop believing in him.
I’ve never quite understood why Christians don’t get that about their own faith – - Jesus is recorded to have taught mainly by using metaphors – yet Christians can’t conceive of their faith being symbolic rather than literal?

It only gets all the more bizarre when you realize that Christmas and Easter are pagan holidays – - Easter even retains the NAME of a lunar fertility goddess, and its date is determined astrologically! Somebody asked what the deal was with the Easter Bunny – Hares are symbols of fertility and rebirth, as are eggs – and they are the symbols of (a goddess of) spring. Celebrations included lots of food, sex and all the other standard forms of human joy. Christianity just said “lets make it about Jesus’ magical resurrection instead”.

Some Christians are trying to get the name changed to Resurrection Sunday, which I find honorable (but would it still be a date chosen by the moon?). Maybe this effort is to prevent the public’s inevitable realization that they’ve been fueling ancient festivities completely unrelated to christianity? The change in name alone will draw attention to that, though. I think they may have set for themselves a catch 22.

The truth will out. Earth Day is a modern secular embracing of the joy of spring as a time of natural rebirth. Working to clean, repair and appreciate the natural world we rely on is far more constructive than a zombie Jesus, in my estimation.

I hate to be the evil Scrooge here, but I hear these arguments every year, and to me making up stories about magic is fun, but I don’t see anything amusing in thinking magic is real.

That said, I’m prepared to acknowledge that there are perhaps aspects of the young child’s development that I’m not taking into account. For example, there was a focus group activity on this site involving telling a magical story to kids and asking questions about it. I was kind of suprised by the exercise when I found that my four-year-old claimed that it was possible for one of his toys to transform into another. So really I’m not sure exactly what he believes.

For myself, I remember lots of things from my childhood vividly, but I don’t have any recollection of ever having thought that Santa or the Easter Bunny were real. I think my parents said they were, but there’s a high probability that my mom hinted that they were just stories. As a devout Mormon, my mom liked to make a strong distinction between supernatural claims that were real (like the predictive power of patriarichal blessings) and supernatural claims that lots of people believe but which are obviously absurd nonsense (like the predictive power of horoscopes).

After all, at least Santa and the Easter Bunny are good object lessons to illustrate the fact that sometimes there are fairy tales that people actually believe are real, and if you think about it just a little bit, you might start wondering the same things about the other characters associated with these holidays….

But the first couple times Blake asked me that question, I knew it wasn’t time yet. He wasn’t asking to get to the bottom of the truth. And I also wanted to see if he could figure the answer out himself. I had the same answer and result you did.

The last time Blake asked, I already knew he was aware of the reality of the situation.

I’m glad you specified this since I didn’t feel I had time. I hoped parents would use their own judgement in knowing what the child was really looking for, and when they were actually asking to get the truth out of you.

On the other hand, if the mind is not allowed to mature along the lines of what is real and what is not, you can very easily produce grown adults who will believe anything, without question, especially when delivered by authority. Not just religious myth either, but I think it’s pretty obvious now that includes political fabrications as well. (In Richard Feynman’s speech linked in another topic, one definition he gave to science is, “Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts.”

My 7 year old, with a very logical mind, just asked me if the Easter Bunny is real. I differ with the opinions expressed here so far. Having enjoyed this pretense immensely in my own youth, my approach is not to dash the fantasy while nuturing the thought process. I said,”Hmmm… who do you think hides although eggs and presents in the yard and everybody else’s yards? How could a bunny do that?” “So what do you think, is the Easter Bunny real?” Obviously, this line is begging the question that he is real. But I also know her question was put to me, not as a way to confirm the truth that she is being tricked, but as a test of and request for input into the unspoken reasoning she has been doing on the subject. It also implied a doubt in wisdom of experts, which I did not contradict, outright.

Anyway, my daughter’s response to my last question was, “Yeah, I think so.” She’s good for another year.

These are the things I want to do with my family and I felt hypocritical for wanting to do them as if I couldn’t get the goodies if I didn’t want to buy into the religious meaning of the holiday.

Thanks for the reminder that it’s okay to continue with a tradition even if there’s no religious implication. As far as the Easter Bunny, I don’t remember ever believing in EB like I remember believing in Santa. I guess the basket thing wasn’t as dramatic as a bunch of presents under a tree. I’m not sure I’ll tell my kids the baskets were left by the Easter Bunny. I’ll probably just say nothing and they won’t ask. There still too young to know anything other than candy is coming their way!

“I’ve never met anyone who admitted they believed in Santa or the Rabbit well into their late teens/early adult years but I’ve heard they’re out there though.” – Rodolfo

Some other examples of this type of thing were the subject of this episode, A little bit of knowledge, of This American Life. “I couldn’t believe I’d gotten this far without stopping to think it through.”

btw, this episode might be of interest to readers of this blog. The part on public policy is related to recent discussions here, and Julia Sweeney’s part, aside from being a nice essay, was the first time I’d ever heard anything about Mormon theology.

I heard that joke from a Catholic comedian and couldn’t stop lauging. I’m trying to remember the last time I believed in Santa or the Easter Bunny. I just don’t remember my parents emphasizing either of them much. I just knew that in December I get gifts and in April I go egg-hunting. I knew Santa and the Rabbit were major players during those months but the important and fun part for me was opening gifts and looking for eggs. I think the worst thing a parent could do is to tell their kids Santa and the Rabbit are real and then tell them afterwards when they get older that they lied. I agree with just waiting for them to ask you first and then telling the truth but what if they don’t? I’ve never met anyone who admitted they believed in Santa or the Rabbit well into their late teens/early adult years but I’ve heard they’re out there though. I’m not saying I’m a better person than them but I wonder what caused them to believe in a lie for so long without asking anyone for the truth.

It’s funny you said this because I was just thinking about this the other day when my son and I were talking about heaven. I started wondering if it is mean of me to deny him the comfort that comes with a belief in heaven. After discussing this with my husband, we came to the conclusion that this is different than Santa & the Easter Bunny because of the fact that so many people still believe the myth of a heaven. If we told him there was a heaven, it would be very difficult for him to discover the truth because so many adults still believe in heaven. There would be too many outside influences trying to convince him that there really is a heaven. It is easier to discover the truth about Santa and the Easter Bunny because adults do not believe this anymore. I think the same thing applies to Jesus.

I really enjoyed the article. I love asking our kids “what do you think?” when they ask us questions…..it’s fun to see their brains at work I have thought about what I might do when they discover the truth about Santa and EB. My plan is to congratulate them for discovering the truth and tell them it is a big step towards growing up. I hope that by shedding a positive light on it we will prevent any problems. Thanks for giving us a preview!