The Great And Dreadful Day Of The Mother
It started out superb. In fact, for as long as Israel was with us, Mother’s Day was perfect. The kids gave me their homemade gifts (and a few recycled toys). I got to read Blake’s numerous descriptions of me in a school project and how I “love life and the religions” and that I “like to make Aiden think I’m going to fall on his face.” I’ll let you wonder what that one refers to.
We went out for breakfast, ordered too much food (an indication of a great time) and then we all went to the courts to play tennis. After that Israel revealed his surprise gift. Israel always gives me the biggest, best, most thoughtful gifts. This year he fulfilled a marriage-long dream: we went to the bicycle shop and bought bikes for every member of the family (Aiden got a trailer that hooks to mine or Israel’s bikes).
It took a while for us to pick out just the right types of bikes for four different people. Meanwhile, Aiden, who just turned three, surprised us all by riding around the store on a bike with training wheels built for six and seven-year-old’s. It’s amazing what you find your kids can do.
After Israel installed the bike rack on the CRV, we loaded up the bikes and headed over to Tropical Smoothie for lunch. I had a low-fat smoothie and an incredible sandwich, Chipotle Chicken with roasted bell peppers. The kids ate half of it.
Israel had a presentation due Monday morning and had planned to go into the office for a couple of hours Sunday, forgetting that Sunday was also the Mother’s Day he had so carefully planned. This is where “great” turned to “dreadful.”
He dropped us off at home where the dog, Gizmo, greeted me with his own gift. Two, actually. While we were gone he consumed an entire brown crayon. At what point in the meal does a dog figure out that a crayon isn’t edible? In my dog’s case, it is when he vomits it in two neat piles.
At least crayon-vomit is odorless. It’s almost like soft clay.
I gave the kids, oh, at least eight warnings not to step on the vomit. I wasn’t too worried because they were busy giving Gizmo some new chew snacks. After cleaning up the mess of the first pile, I left to get a new rag to clean up the second pile. And that is where I saw them: two big spots of clumpy crayon-brown by Trinity’s door, next to Trinity’s feet where she was walking into her bedroom. In increments of discovery I found about twenty more spots leading back to the place where the second pile of vomit awaited me. Trinity had stepped in it. I now had a trail of vomit to clean.
After calling Israel to gripe about the sudden turn my day had taken, after cleaning twenty piles of chunky goo, Aiden informed me that Gizmo had thrown up again. I guess his stomach was not yet ready for his new treats. Once I got that cleaned up, Aiden had his own bathroom needs, and I found myself, once again, on my hands and knees, cleaning the floor where Aiden missed the toilet.
When I tucked Blake into bed that night ,(Israel now home) Blake told me that I was “sure yelling a lot on Mother’s Day.” I gave him another little taste of guilt when I reminded him how he stepped on my suede purse earlier after I pointed out its location and asked him to be sure not to step on it.
No, yesterday was not a shining moment in my career of motherhood.
Thankfully it returned to the greatness it started with. Israel and I lounged on the couch together, watching HBO’s Big Love where we got to witness the benefits of sisterhood that comes along with polygamy. I love that show.
I was able to start over today with a bit more patience and kindness around the kids. Aiden tested me with his new three-year-old defiance. Trinity and I did more reading than usual. And Blake told me he felt he should stop watching the cartoon, Naruto (that ninja one I mentioned in my HNN article) because it was becoming more and more violent and he wasn’t comfortable with it.
Right now I am out blogging on my front yard (thank-technology for wireless Internet and laptops), watching my kids across the street play at the neighborhood park. I just got up to help Blake out of an interesting predicament. I looked up to see him hanging upside down from the play equipment with his tennis shoe stuck in the rungs, and his head hovering a foot above the sand.
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May 15th, 2006 @ 8:44 pm
I think Mother’s day is cursed
!! We planned on having a nice relaxing day, but it did not go as planned. My bad day extended into today, though. We woke up this morning to my daughter running into a wall and crying because her legs didn’t work. At first I didn’t think much of it, but it continued after she woke up. My husband and I were trying not to panic and did little tests to see if she had feeling in her legs. Everything seemed to be fine, but she couldn’t seem to keep her balance. We decided to give her a bath and as I was washing her hair, I discovered a bump. When I looked at it, I saw that it was a tick. So, we jumped out of the tub and went to the doctor to have it removed. I mentioned the balance problem to the doctor and we discovered that she had tick paralysis! I did not know about this. I guess female dog ticks release a neurotoxin that slowly paralyzes its victim as long as it is attached! It is most common in girls under age 10 (don’t know why). Anyway, we had the tick removed and by dinner she was walking and playing like she always does. So, I’m hoping I can have my happy mother’s day tomorrow 
I hope you had a better day today!
May 15th, 2006 @ 9:35 pm
Stephanie, that must have been so scary! Thankfully she is alright now. I know how it must have been for you and all the thoughts that probably ran through your head before you knew that she would be fine.
May 15th, 2006 @ 9:54 pm
I don’t like cleaning up puke either! Today my little guy puked on my clean white pants (right before we were supposed to leave the house) and I got mad at him.
Certainly not one of my finest parenting moments.
Happy Mother’s Day! The bikes sounds like fun!
May 15th, 2006 @ 9:58 pm
Well, I just spent another 20 minutes writing a pithy comment only to have it disappear. I realize now that it has to do with the addition problem. I guess its some kind of control device. But it has caused me to waste a good deal of time. Not a very friendly feature.
TLS
May 16th, 2006 @ 8:18 am
Terry, Write your comments using a word processor and then cut and paste them into the comments area. It helps clean up spelling and grammer too.
May 16th, 2006 @ 2:34 pm
Why does Mother’s Day always suck?
I worked all day.
My mom was sick and stayed home from church. I think she was just avoiding the extra-fakery that slimes from the pulpit when those crappy flowers get passed out at the end of sacrament meeting. ick.
Who doesn’t miss that?
May 16th, 2006 @ 3:25 pm
Laura, that is so funny! It was on the way home from Tropical Smoothie that I remembered about those flowers in church. And I was thinking, wow, Mother’s Day like this sure beats the heck out of being in church for three hours in anticipation of gettiing a little flower from a twelve year old boy.
May 17th, 2006 @ 9:26 pm
Well it seems that getting physically ill on mothers day is the theme. I my self had a wonderful day planned and ended up getting dehydrated and loosing my cookies on the drive home from a near by arboretum. I then spent the 1st part of my evening lying in bed wondering “why, why todayâ€. My husband then brought my some Pediaylte and I felt better. Thankfully we have Pediaylte on hand!!
May 19th, 2006 @ 9:10 am
I just ran across your picture album. How could you EVER be upset with such beautiful children? My favorites are “Trinity and Blake in the Tree” and “Aiden Thinking”. From the other side of the coin … such lucky children!
I use to have an uncle that declared that a little bit of crisis was a valuable part of every occasion like weddings or Mother’s Days. It helps you remember them. So 20 years from now, you’ll be able to say, “Remember that Mother’s Day I spent cleaning up crayon barf?”
May 19th, 2006 @ 11:06 am
Ahh, thanks, Gregg! In my saner moments (when the kids are in bed) I ask myself the same question.
Your uncle is right! This will probably be the only Mother’s Day (so far) that I will REALLY remember!
May 26th, 2006 @ 7:51 am
Thank you for the lovely description of the crap piles =)
June 3rd, 2006 @ 7:46 pm
AGNOSTICS ROCK!!! IM AN INFIDEL TO EVERY RELIGION AND IT TOOK ME 15 YEARS OF MY LIFE TO REALIZE THAT THE TRUTH IS LEARNED THROUGH EXPERIENCE!!
GO AGNOSTICS!