I am more spiritual then before. I taught for 30 years in the mormon church, they teach that in the Millenium there will be no need for religion because the knowelge of heaven will be open for all to see. The truth is there should be no religion now. Jesus taught us all we needed to know: love your nieghbor: love your fellow man: forgive all: and do good works…etc. Mormons teach that all will be saved but the reward you earn is based on your good works, but they never get it that we must each find our own good works and stop doing the churches good works. I will get off my soap box now and just say thank you.

Mormons aren’t going to hell, but were ever they are going I will be somewhere else, the snacks are better.

The one thing I don’t get a clear sense of is your search *after* you figured out that Mormonism is a hoax. What made you so sure that the idea of a Source of Divine Energy in the universe is just another illusion? Is that in other posts in the “religion” thread? Or do the other posts in that thread mainly pick up much later when you’ve already defined yourself as a humanist?

What’s coming across to me, just from the 4 parts about leaving the church, is that even though you “see through” Mormonism (that’s clear), and through Christianity (less clear), you still weigh everything by these standards. Like the only way to get away from the grip of these illusions, is not to go anywhere near anything at all “spiritual”.

Am trying to put this vague sense into words, but I’m getting the feeling that you are healed enough to move on with your life and be happy, but not healed to the extent that you could accept a spiritual event or intuition without immediately thinking about it in the old Christian/Mormon way, with a consequent need to reject it. You’ve taken off the hat (mostly), but maybe not the glasses–at least not all the way. That’s how it seems to me. So I’d like to hear more about that side, if possible. (I know a lot of folks at this point join some exotic cult–just to fill the void. I’m not asking about why you didn’t do that.)

Someone else asked about how your development affected your family relationships. I guess that’s really a touchy one. But I can share their curiosity . . .

What a great story! And so well written. Can you please, please, post it (all four parts) on my church’s website: http://www.apatheticagnostic.com? I don’t want your story to get lost (I am already having difficulties finding Part I on your blog). That website has been around for 10 years now, and now has a decent search function. There’s a special section called “Agnostic Testimony” where your story will fit perfectly. I am only suggesting it because I want to preserve your story. Thank you for sharing it with all of us!

I have spent the last three years studying religion and the different Christian denominations. As an agnostic I still keep an open mind and seek spirtual truths that feel authentic to me. Thus far though I feel that the problem is Christianity is based on a collection of writings by ancient men, the Bible. I think part of the Bible are beautiful and inspired and worthy lessons for living an ethical life. After reading it cover to cover and reading Biblical criticism however, I have to say there is a lot of chaff in with the wheat and much vagueness that is left very open to frail human interpretation. If the writers were divinely inspired by God it seems to me there were undoubtably times they had a bad connection. Thus, I have drifted from Christianity in general. I do tend to feel that there is a divine spirit that we can be in tune with on a personal level without needing organized religion.
Thank you again for sharing. The only difficulty in leaving my Church is that most of the people I know are still religious which does make one feel a bit of an outsider at times. Its nice to know other people have similar thoughts and experiences.
Peace. =)

Congratulations on finding out where your strength really comes from. Inside yourself.

I can truly relate to everything you have written here.

One of the greatest days of my life was when I realized that I did not need religion to know who I was.

I am glad and happy for you.

This is exactly how I felt when I left Christianity. I can now read and study any subject without feeling some form of guilt (eg, evolution).

This is a fantastic post, Noell. I can relate to much of what you have written.

All the best
Kevin

I go back and forth in what I call myself, but in the end it doesn’t matter: I know that no god so far described by any church on earth exists, so I’m an atheist as far as most people (and gods) are concerned. If there’s something out there, we’ll never be able to know, so why worry? It doesn’t worry about us, after all…

* You know: I just don’t believe in one more god than you don’t believe in. Unless you’re a polytheist, of course.

Morg is a term used for Mormon Organization. There is also an undertonal reference to the Borg of Star Trek.

So, Noelle, when do you make the jump from claiming to be agnostic to embracing the atheist title? Just asking… I spent a couple of years in my doubting phase calling myself an agnostic until I realized, no, I really didn’t believe in God. At all.

I suppose I’m an agnostic atheist… I don’t think anything that could reasonably be described as a god is knowable in any meaningful way, so that’s agnosticism (the same could be said of any internally inconsistent nonsensical belief). That said, I see absolutely no reason to believe in any gods, hence atheist.

But I am curious; what’s a Morg?

Agnostic Mom has been posting her deconversion story. It’s interesting – very…. Perhaps not surprisingly, the stories Agnostic Mom pointed us at were all Mormon deconversion stories. I’m not, and never was, Mormon, and perhaps that’s why I find th…

I wondered which Christian religion was closest to truth. Would I find one I could be comfortable in?

I would love to hear more on this, if there’s more to hear. Was it a straight shot for you, from Mormon to agnostic? Or were there any other steps between ex-Mormon
and ex-religious-believer?

I love your description of how empowered you felt when you realized that things you had been giving God credit for were coming from within yourself.

One thing I dislike about religion is that you’re encouraged to give God credit for everything that is good and yet never blame Him for anything bad…

Many things in your post that I relate to in my own journey in putting ‘ex’ in front of Christian. Your above quote here is something I could have wrote.

I’ve heard the stories from a number of Christians who felt betrayed by some of the – let’s be honest here – absurd things they were being taught and that they felt they had been ‘duped’ into believing. The best thing for each of them was to break away from the church and the system altogether. Some have returned, perhaps to a different group of believers who view the Bible and the faith a little more liberally or alternatively, others have continued on a journey away from the church.

Either way, I cannot imagine – if there is a divine being who is love – that he would want us to remain in a system that would counter us being able to grow to our full potential. For me the warning signs go up the moment it seems to me someones self development is being stunted – either because they have to fit into some tight moral mold, or because they aren’t allowed to ask the questions that our brains naturally ask out of curiousity, or because they have to suppress enormous parts of themselves in order to fit in. I had the sense, for example, that Kevin would not have been able to continue his growth/development/whatever you call it inside of the church. That’s not to say that at another point in his life (or anyone’s life) they may be able to reconnect with the Christian faith in a meaningful way again…